Getting my Liturgy Fix

It's been a while since I've written. The weekend just over a week ago was a very difficult one, with many old issues being brought to the surface yet again.

In midst of trying to deal with them, I recalled that it had been a long time since I'd last participated in a "high liturgy" worship service, and somehow sensed that that might be related to the way I was responding to the things I was facing. So after checking calendars and times, I decided to attend the local Anglican service yesterday morning.

I've found it a little difficult to explain why I seem to need a dose of high liturgy every now and then — many people seem to jump immediately to the idea of style preference, and if I prefer that style then I must not care for "our" style. But it's not really about preference.

Somehow it seems that over time, the collection of things I am involved in — worship services, study, the emerging leaders group, etc. — seem to mold me toward a more individualistic faith. The language and structures seem somehow to be geared toward a "God and me" focus, which ultimately narrows my field of concern, and makes me more anxious that that narrow ecclesial world around me "get things right". That in turns pushes me to focus more on what's wrong, and on who's wrong, ultimately discouraging me from engaging in the sorts of behaviours that would build the sort of community I believe to be vital.

Participation in a time of high liturgy just seems to reconnect me with a much bigger reality — the reality of the one holy catholic church; the whole body of Christ. Finding myself again in that wider context takes off so much of the pressure to "get it right", and I am so much better able to give what I have to give to those around me. That is to say, I'm more able to simply serve in whatever capacity presents itself, rather than feeling that drive and need to "make a difference".

It's surprising how even just one service can make a big difference to the way I relate to the world. And this time around, that change actually started already when I decided that I would go this Sunday, at such and such time, even without being there yet.

Right now I'm thinking that it may be wise for me to schedule some high liturgy into my life on a more regular basis, as a kind of preventive maintenance, rather than waiting until the need becomes obvious.