Leadership & spiritual formation -- this week's struggle

I've joined with a group of people in a year long process intended to promote spiritual formation in the context of emerging leaders. The testimonials of spiritual development and community from a broad spectrum of previous participants was the primary draw. Many said that the "leadership development" aspect was really secondary, which was fine by me. However, already I'm having struggles with the "leadership development" aspect that really seems to me to be pretty front and center.

This is going to be a rather long post, trying to record some of the struggles and maybe resulting insights from this past week.

The pursuit of Leadership: a modern myth

It seems that our culture, both outside the church and within it, is enamored, perhaps even obsessed, with the pursuit of Leadership. The bookstores are full of titles like Developing the Leader Within, every institution of higher learning has a "Leadership" track, even elementary schools and kindergartens are into "Developing the Leaders of Tomorrow, Today".

From the way such language permeates our society, one easily gets the impression that Leadership is one of the quintessential marks of authentic humanity. If you really want to be fully developed as a human being, to be all you were meant to be, you need to pursue Leadership. The pursuit of Leadership is, in modern culture's linguistic space, an unqualified good: a virtue to engaged in by all. Or by all who matter, anyway. Oh, sure, we all grant that there are exceptions. "Leadership is not for everyone", we'll say, "but you don't want to be one of those people, do you?"

This is a very powerful story. You see and hear it everywhere. This is a story of mythic power and import that is rarely questioned. The pursuit of Leadership is one of modern society's great myths.

A subversive counter story

One of the best things about the material my group is working through is that it includes a number of readings that are really quite subversive of the prevailing "pursuit of Leadership" myth. A particularly subversive voice is that of Henri Nouwen, who speaks out of his experience living in community with mentally handicapped adults. One's value as an authentic human being in such a community just cannot be seen in any of the things that come from the "pursuit of Leadership" -- all of one's success in that arena is simply irrelevant.

Not being able to use any of the skills that had proved so practical in the past was a real source of anxiety. I was suddenly faced with my naked self, open for affirmations and rejections, hugs and punches, smiles and tears, all dependent simply on how I was perceived at the moment. In a way, it seemed as though I was starting life all over again. Relationships, connections, reputations could no longer be counted on.

This experience was and, in many ways, is still the most important experience of my new life, because it forced me to rediscover my true identity. These broken, wounded, and completely unpretentious people forced me to let go of my relevant self -- the self that can do things, show things, prove things, build things -- and forced me to reclaim that unadorned self in which I am completely vulnerable, open to receive and give love regardless of any accomplishments.

I am telling you all this because I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.

Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus

And yet, while the readings bring out this subversive counter story, I still hear the powerful beat of the "pursuit of Leadership" myth driving throughout the various exercises we are asked to complete. The subversive counter story has made a significant inroad, but the great modern myth is not giving up without a fight.

I wonder whether the compilers and proponents of this material are even aware of how much the material embraces both of these diametrically opposed stories? For me, however, the contrast seems to scream from the pages -- more loudly the farther I go. And that's a part of the struggle.

How will we be Biblically formed?

One of the first major exercises toward developing a "biblically informed definition of leadership" was to do a study of just under two dozen single verses in which some variant of lead, leader, leadership, etc. appear -- presumably at least in some translation, as some simply contained euphemistic expressions that may be taken to refer to leadership. Rarely was the nature or character of leadership itself the subject of the passage, and even when it was, it was hard to find unless one was familiar with the largest thread in which the passage exists.

I had actually anticipated that these verses would have been handpicked to present some view of leadership that the compiler of the material felt was the "biblical model". Instead, it appears that these may have just been randomly selected from a concordance.

One of my own first tasks once I got Yvonne's notebook computer reloaded and running was to do my own word search. As I had anticipated, I actually got almost 8,000 hits on some form of lead, leader, leadership, etc. from the dozen or so Bible translations available in her Libronix system. Also as I had anticipated, I found that generally the Bible uses these terms, and various metaphors and euphemisms for them, without definition. That is, it simply assumes that the reader knows what it is talking about. And in most cases, the precise nature of the leadership at hand is not particularly important to what the text is on about.

But does any of this really help us be formed by the Biblical text in our understanding of how we are to lead, if we are? Should we expect that simply finding lead, leader or leadership in a verse of scripture necessarily gives us God's definitive idea about how human beings should lead? Should we even be trying to read the Bible with "leadership eyes", trying to suss out it's wisdom on how to lead or become a leader? Is the Bible even concerned about assisting us in our pursuit of Leadership?

Does any of this help us read the Bible on its own terms, to be formed by it? Or are we just trying to use the Bible for our own ends?

The gospel account of Jesus

In my frustration, I picked up the gospel of Mark and just began reading it from the beginning, until it was too late to finish. I was struck by how the passages flowed from one theme to the next and by the sudden changes in emphasis: how the exorcisms suddenly ceased and the parables suddenly began when the religious authorities declared that it was by Beelzebub that Jesus was casting out demons, for example. But I was also struck by just how indifferent Jesus seemed to be to the kind of pursuit of Leadership that dominates our modern culture.

Early on, Jesus heals Peter's mother-in-law, and the people of Capernaum bring all their sick around in the even for Jesus to heal. Early in the morning, before dawn, Jesus goes off to a lonely place to prayer, and when his disciples find him, they inform him that "everyone is looking for you". Jesus has gained a huge following. His leadership success has just soared. And his response? Let us leave now for the other towns in Galilee, for I must preach there also.

This is not just an isolated incident. Jesus refuses the people's wish to make him king after feeding them in the wilderness, for example. And of course, in the end, Jesus faces his final task alone. All of his disciples deserted him and fled. The disciple who boasted of his loyalty denied even knowing him, three times. In that hour Jesus was no leader, as he had no followers.

Last night when I picked up Lee Camp's book, Mere Discipleship, and started reading where I had left off, things came into even starker focus. Right at the beginning of Jesus' public ministry he is baptized by John, and hears the voice of God saying "You are my beloved Son, with you I am well pleased". Immediately the Spirit leads him into the wilderness to be tempted by the adversary. Mark does not record the specific temptations, but we all know how they go: "Ok, you are the Son of God. So do this".

Camp points out that "Son of God" is an appellation given in the Psalms to the king of Israel -- the true successor to David, the man after God's own heart, who will lead God's people in God's own way. So, you are the King, the anointed one. What kind of kingdom will you lead? What sort of leadership will you exercise?

How about turning these stones into bread, meeting the immediate economic needs of this people? Moses gave the people bread in the wilderness, remember? Caesar maintains his kingdom by providing the people with bread and circuses. It'll work. Try it.

No, well how about religion? John has already come in the likeness of Elijah to prepare the way, as Malachi has prophesied. How about continuing in that prophesy by making a big, splashy entrance at the temple? It's full of people coming to prayer, and just in time for the evening news. Besides, doesn't the psalmist talk about God's angels bearing you up lest you dash your foot against a stone? It can't miss. You'll be an instant leadership success, I guarantee.

Still no? Well how about this: Psalm 2, the messianic psalm where God says to the king, "you are my Son; today I have begotten you. Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession." Well, there they are, right before your eyes, just as promised. I will give them to you, as they are all in my power to give. Just ask of me, and they're yours: a mighty empire for the asking, and you the great emperor.

If there was any question that Jesus does not buy into our modern pursuit of Leadership myth, it must be firmly dispelled by his responses to these temptations. Man does not live by the pursuit of Leadership, but by the pursuit of God: by eating and drinking the very word of God, by trusting God's providence as He choices and not according to our own forced tests, and by delighting in Him alone, even more than the promises of blessing.

My dilemma

The more I read and the more I reflect upon how God has led me in my own life, the more the subversive counter story rings true and the more empty and false the modern pursuit of Leadership myth becomes. The difference between the two becomes ever more stark in my own mind, and seeing them both side by side in apparent approval of both seems bizarre and insane.

Getting here has cost me too much pain over the past five years to ever willingly cozy up to the pursuit of Leadership myth again. And yet, fighting it directly still gives it too much power over me. Trying to read scripture through eyes focused on opposing that myth is just as dangerous -- I will have simply substituted one set of preconceived lenses for another as I read the Bible, and will not have moved closer to reading it on its own terms.

For awhile I have been able to deal with this by simply ignoring the issue of leadership and its pursuit. But I have made a commitment to this group of people to walk with them through this journey, and part of that commitment is to these assignments -- the very assignments that seem to me to be bound up in the modern myth I wish to escape from. So ignoring them is not really an option, either. Besides, it is not leadership itself that I shy from, but rather its pursuit: its pursuit as the great good of our time, its pursuit as the means of ensuring our own success in bringing about the kingdom.

Many have testified to the great change in their own lives that participating in this journey has wrought; a change not at all geared to a more intense pursuit of Leadership. I would not deprive my fellow travellers of that opportunity, and so fear lest my own struggles with the material become a distraction. But playing along and not rocking the boat by pretending not to see these stark discongruities would be a blatant masquerade, and a violation of the openness and transparency we wish to foster as a means of encouraging each other to love and good works. To say nothing of the damage to my own soul in trying to dance with the devil and follow God at the same time.

So, what do I do?

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy
on me.